Was that constructive feedback, or did I just get completely torn to shreds? Sometimes it\u2019s hard to tell the difference.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s that moment, usually right after the first sentence, when you just know<\/em>: this isn\u2019t going to be a compliment. Your neck and shoulders tense up. Your brain flips into survival mode. Fight, flight, or smile politely while frozen in place. \u201cOf course, I\u2019m always open to feedback.\u201d \u201cFeedback is a gift.\u201d Fine. But it\u2019s the kind of gift where you\u2019re not sure whether to unwrap it or just smile politely and throw it straight in the bin. Sometimes it\u2019s a box of wisdom. Sometimes it\u2019s a passive-aggressive brick with a bow on it.<\/p>\n Why does criticism\u2026 sorry, feedback<\/em>… hit us so hard (even when it\u2019s well-meant)? Because it often reflects our own beliefs and insecurities. \u201cSee? I\u2019m not good enough.\u201d Or some other version that sounds true to you. It hits us even when it\u2019s wrapped in kindness. Even when we know<\/em> there\u2019s something useful in it.<\/p>\n So what do we do? We shut down. We get defensive. Or we turn it inward and spend the rest of the day wondering if we\u2019re just fundamentally broken. Criticism is no quick bite\u2014it\u2019s chewy stuff, and you keep chewing on it. Like badly cooked stew meat.<\/p>\n So how do<\/em> you take in feedback or criticism without betraying yourself in the process? There\u2019s no magic trick to make it painless. But there is a way to survive it without falling apart:<\/p>\n Ask yourself: Is this about who I am<\/em>, or what I did<\/em>?<\/p>\n Not: \u201cI\u2019m useless.\u201d That\u2019s a world of difference.<\/p>\n And you don\u2019t have to agree with it. Sometimes criticism is a mirror. Sometimes a magnifying glass. And sometimes it\u2019s just someone dumping their own frustration on you. Listening is always a good idea, but it\u2019s also fine to think: nice try, but I\u2019ll pass on this one.<\/p>\n What if it is<\/em> about you? Sometimes someone goes straight for the person, not the behaviour. Then what? Just breathe. Don\u2019t fire back immediately. It\u2019s totally okay to say: \u201cLet me think about that.\u201d You don\u2019t have to promise anything. And once you\u2019re alone (your luxury 3 minutes of peace and quiet in the bathroom), take a second to feel what it did to you. Not to brush it off, but to find your way back to yourself.<\/p>\n Call it feedback, call it constructive criticism, we all get it. Tall trees catch more wind. That\u2019s just how it works.<\/p>\n And the tree? Was that constructive feedback, or did I just get completely […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3269,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-work"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\u201cCan I give you some feedback?\u201d
\u201cThere\u2019s something I\u2019d like to share.\u201d
\u201cNo offense, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
But: \u201cThere was something in my approach that didn\u2019t work for that person.\u201d<\/p>\n
Not: \u201cThat approach isn\u2019t effective.\u201d
But: \u201cYou\u2019re difficult\/unprofessional\/a nightmare.\u201d
Yeah, that stings. And that\u2019s okay. But ask yourself one question: is this really about me\u2014or about them<\/em>? Frustration, jealousy, social clumsiness… they all play a role. You don\u2019t have to carry everything you\u2019re handed. Toss it and move on. And if it does<\/em> stick\u2014if something about it hits a nerve because it\u2019s kind of true… Then maybe it is<\/em> a gift. Ugly wrapping, but still spot on.<\/p>\n
The better you get, the more of it comes your way.
Not because you\u2019re falling short, but because you\u2019re visible<\/em>.<\/p>\n
It grows by learning\u2014especially from mistakes and feedback.
So think of feedback as a seed.
It doesn\u2019t look like much, but if you don\u2019t crush or ignore it, it might grow into something good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"