{"id":3364,"date":"2025-06-20T14:24:26","date_gmt":"2025-06-20T14:24:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/petrawildoer.nl\/?p=3364"},"modified":"2025-06-20T14:24:26","modified_gmt":"2025-06-20T14:24:26","slug":"uh-thanks-i-guess","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/petrawildoer.nl\/en\/leadership\/uh-thanks-i-guess\/petra\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cUh\u2026 thanks? I guess?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"133\" data-end=\"542\">\u201cNice work,\u201d says my manager, without looking up from his spreadsheet, in a tone that reminds me of the Terminator.<br data-start=\"248\" data-end=\"251\" \/>My brain kicks into overdrive: <em data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"366\">\u201cNice work with what?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s he even talking about?\u201d \u201cIs he even talking to me?\u201d<\/em><br data-start=\"366\" data-end=\"369\" \/>Quick glance around\u2026 nope, no one else. Never mind, I\u2019ll let it go. A compliment\u2019s a compliment, no need to overthink it. But does it make me feel warm inside? Not exactly.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"544\" data-end=\"671\">Welcome to the world of appreciation. Where good intentions often crash and burn in vague compliments and awkward silences.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"673\" data-end=\"887\">And that\u2019s a shame. Because when done right, appreciation is one of the most powerful leadership skills out there. It builds trust, boosts motivation, and lets someone feel: <em data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"860\">you matter.<\/em> But only if you mean it.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"1327\">Let\u2019s be honest: we all have a built-in BS detector. You can hear it right away when someone says something \u201cbecause they have to.\u201d Deadly. Real appreciation is sincere and personal. Not pre-written or rehearsed. It\u2019s often the small moments that make the biggest difference. Someone who gave tough feedback. Stayed late to help a teammate. Held their tongue when that was the smartest choice. Not grand or dramatic. Just\u2026 valuable.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1329\" data-end=\"1681\">Simon Sinek compares it beautifully to love (look it up: <em data-start=\"1386\" data-end=\"1410\">Do you love your wife?<\/em>). Love isn\u2019t in the occasional grand gestures. It\u2019s in the everyday attention, the small things. Appreciation works the same way. You build it. You nurture it.<br data-start=\"1570\" data-end=\"1573\" \/>A compliment once a month and nothing else? That doesn\u2019t cut it in a relationship. And not at work either.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1683\" data-end=\"1975\">Here\u2019s where it gets interesting: not everyone wants to be appreciated in the same way. Some light up when they\u2019re called out in a crowded room. Others would rather sink into the floor. One person loves a handwritten note. Another is good with a quick \u201cI saw what you did. Nicely done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1977\" data-end=\"2240\">If your style is to give someone a shoutout during a speech, and they get instant stage fright, your good intentions fall flat. Or you think a team lead wants constant praise, while they only value recognition when something\u2019s truly finished. That\u2019s a mismatch.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2242\" data-end=\"2486\">What helps? Just ask. Next one-on-one: <em data-start=\"2283\" data-end=\"2321\">\u201cHow do you like to be appreciated?\u201d <\/em>That\u2019s not weird. That\u2019s thoughtful. And chances are, the answers will surprise you. \u201cI hate being put in the spotlight\u201d comes up more often than you\u2019d think.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2488\" data-end=\"2979\">Appreciation isn\u2019t a task on your to-do list. It\u2019s a relationship skill. Relationship researcher John Gottman found that stable relationships need about five positive interactions for every one negative one. Five! The ratio might be different at work, but the principle stands: you need to keep investing in a healthy balance. If appreciation becomes part of how you see, listen and connect, it becomes a habit. Not a trick, but a tone. It doesn\u2019t have to be big, as long as it\u2019s real.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2981\" data-end=\"3226\">And maybe start with yourself. How do you like to receive appreciation? Do you brush off compliments? Or do you let them land?<br data-start=\"3111\" data-end=\"3114\" \/>What truly moves you? What makes <em data-start=\"3147\" data-end=\"3152\">you<\/em> feel like you matter? And how often do you give that feeling to others?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cNice work,\u201d says my manager, without looking up from his  [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3362,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-leadership"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cUh\u2026 thanks? 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